I used to believe in destiny, you know? I’d go to the bagel place, see a pretty girl in line, reading my favorite novel, whistling the song that’s been stuck in my head all week and think “wow hey! maybe she’s the one!”. Now I think ” That bitch is gonna take the last whole wheat bagel.”

I used to believe in destiny, you know? I’d go to the bagel place, see a pretty girl in line, reading my favorite novel, whistling the song that’s been stuck in my head all week and think “wow hey! maybe she’s the one!”. Now I think ” That bitch is gonna take the last whole wheat bagel.”