Freudian Slips

“I Probably Would Have Laughed”

I’ve written about how great my Women Studies teacher before. This is one of the speeches that he wrote for his class.

Trust me when I say ” Life is funny”. Not in the traditional “ha-ha” sense- because the funniest things about life are often go unseen-and thus you never really get to laugh at them.

Let me explain:

On my seventeenth birthday had someone told me that I would soon be dating who picked on me in sixth grade-I would have laughed and said “That’s funny.” However on my eighteenth birthday that same cute cheerleader gave me a card sign: “Love Always. Cathi.”

Had someone told me on my nineteeth birthday. “One of your closest friends will soon steal away your girlfriend”-I would have laughed out loud and said: “Right, Whatever.” Yet on my twentieth birthday there was no card signed “Love Always” and I hadn’t spoken to one of my closest friends in almost a year.

Now had you come to me on my twenty-fourth birthday and said, “David, within the year you’ll be a roadie for your favorite band and be wanted by the F.B.I.” I most definitely would have laughed out loud.Nonetheless, weeks before my twenty fifth birthday, I was on the road with Pearl Jam while thousands of miles away one of my closest friends was under F.B.I. surveillance and soon the Feds would be on me.

If someone had come to me on my twenty-fifth birthday and said, “This will be the year you break up the engagement of your future wife.” I would have chuckled. But guess what: Weeks before my twenty sixth birthday, I moved in with my future wife on the same day she was supposed to be married. Come on, now that’s funny.

Had some mysterious stranger come to me on my thirty fifth birthday and said “By this time next year everything about your life will have changed” I would have laughed and question: “How can everything change?” Yet two months later I was selling my house and heading towards divorce court. Why? because things Change.

Had you said to me on my thirty sixth birthday, “You will soon be a full-time lecturer in the Women’s Studies Program at CSUF.” I would have rolled my eyes and sarcastically said: “I think you’ve mistaken me for someone with a vagina”. However, the joke would have been on me.

No one told me anything on my fortieth birthday- not that it matters; because I probably would have laughed and said, “Hey, Right”!

So what’s the moral of the story? First of all, much of life is unexpected, so be prepared to make unexpected choices- remember you always have a choice. Also, don’t worry too much about what’s happening today…because it’s going to change. But most importantly, learn to laugh, because life is funny. Trust me…..I Know.

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